Dilbert Management Training
A magazine ran a Dilbert quotes contest. These are actual quotes from managers out there:
- As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.
- What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter.
- How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?
- E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only to be used for company business.
- Turnover is good for the company, as it proves that we are doing a good job in training people.
- This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.
- Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.
- No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.